Help, my kid hates needles!

Naming emotions tames them

Kids may say, “I don’t want to!” and “I hate needles!”. While these are perfectly understandable (and challenging) statements, they are not “feelings”. Feelings are the emotions that we tend to feel in our bodies. Feelings can feel big and overwhelming, especially before we have named them.  Adults can help kids slow down and uncover their emotions behind these statements. We can do this through gentle conversation, reading stories about emotions, or sharing how we feel and how we label our own emotions.

Fear is a buddy

Fear is one of those emotions that is likely powerfully at play for your child. Fear certainly does not feel like a helpful buddy – at first. But needle fears can be an opportunity to help your child have a better relationship with fear for life.

Usually, fear is trying to help us stay safe. We can explore what would happen if someone NEVER  felt ANY fear. Imagine - how would they know to not jump right off a cliff?

Fear feels so strong because that’s what makes it a powerful protector. But, it is not attacking us when it takes over – it’s more like a super strong animal or superhero. Get your child to personify their fear as an animal or character of their choice. Just because fear is trying to keep us safe doesn’t mean it’s always right. Help them understand that fear is a loyal buddy who makes guesses about danger – but it doesn’t get to make all the decisions for us.

Turn fear to worries

Worries are easier to manage than raw fear. Worries put fear into concrete words and predictions, which we can then address.

Model to your kids the act of “thinking through fear”.  You can talk about a time you had a fear. Validate it by saying, “It makes sense that I felt that way”. Then search aloud for the worry that might have been feeding the fear.

Children may not be forthcoming about it, but they may have all kinds of worries about needles. Other children may have made up what sounds like (to adult ears) ridiculous things such as “the needle will go right through their arm”. The key is to not dismiss the worry as silly, but to ask a few more questions. Who told you that? Where do you think they heard that?  And then provide accurate information to your child about what actually happens. Be factual – use plain, simple language.

Curiosity banishes worries

Fear and curiosity are strongly linked. Now that you’ve had some conversations with your child about emotions, fear, worries, and fact-finding, you may be able to leverage your child’s natural curiosity. They may have more questions about how the procedure works and why. The human body is amazing – don’t be surprised if you end up learning a few things yourself!

Allow your child to ask questions, investigate, touch (when appropriate) to explore at the appointment itself. This teaches them that medical self-advocacy is ok. It teaches them that they are important, and that being in a medical setting doesn’t negate that.

Pain free

There is no benefit that I can think of to a child feeling the pain of needles. Canada’s clinical practice guideline specifically recommends that we should reduce pain in children’s needle experiences as much as possible. Childhood is where most needle phobias are formed, and pain can be an exacerbating factor.  We want to set children up for a lifetime of healthy habits, and a full-blown medical phobia can prevent them from seeking needed care in the future. Reducing pain where possible can reduce the stress and fear before, during, and after a needle experience.

Use numbing cream – use a thick layer on a small area up to one hour beforehand, and cover it with plastic wrap if the instructions indicate this

Use a “buzzy” or other pain-modulating device

Ask that the vial be warmed slightly (if possible) before injections

Advocate for the smallest needle possible, and an experienced practitioner

Don’t stop connection, cuddles, and affection just because you’re in a medical setting – keep that good stuff coming!

Distractions are powerful – bring a favorite game or toy

Celebrate

The brain benefits from reminders that it survived a stressful event. Celebrating, connecting, laughing, getting a sticker and an ice cream are all wonderful ways to help the experience come to a close for a child. This victory is worth celebrating, and will serve as a useful memory the next time needle fears arise.